Finland straddles the fault betwixt the world of the Faustian and the Slav. Against the ambitions of their mighty neighbors, the Finns have struggled to maintain their identity and independence for centuries. Notoriously reclusive, they possess an intense inwardness that we can glimpse in the music of Sibelius and the poetry of The Kalevala (for you language-autistes, here’s a sample in Finnish with English word-by-word translations and grammatical explanations).
Vince the Slav and Sven the Swede trek to Helsinki. They take stock of the land, and interview a local nationalist “Suomi.”
That badass in the picture is Simo HÃ¤yhÃ¤, 505 confirmed kills. He got his jaw blown off by a Russian bullet in the last days of the 1940 Winter War.
And yes, Finns, we know you’re not Mongoloids. Still gonna make fun of you for it tho.