RED DAWN 29: Finngolian Lights

RED DAWN 29: Finngolian Lights

Finland straddles the fault betwixt the world of the Faustian and the Slav. Against the ambitions of their mighty neighbors, the Finns have struggled to maintain their identity and independence for centuries. Notoriously reclusive, they possess an intense inwardness that we can glimpse in the music of Sibelius and the poetry of The Kalevala (for you language-autistes, here’s a sample in Finnish with English word-by-word translations and grammatical explanations).

Vince the Slav and Sven the Swede trek to Helsinki. They take stock of the land, and interview a local nationalist “Suomi.”

Intro music is the “Sillanpään marssilaulu.” Outro is “Njet Molotoff.”

That badass in the picture is Simo Häyhä, 505 confirmed kills. He got his jaw blown off by a Russian bullet in the last days of the 1940 Winter War.

And yes, Finns, we know you’re not Mongoloids. Still gonna make fun of you for it tho.

One thought on “RED DAWN 29: Finngolian Lights”

  1. He wasn’t a badass.

    He was a simple Finnish subsistence farmer and hunter, about five-foot-three.

    He was a man who remembered to do what men should do when it’s time to do it. He had the skills to do it. He did it.

    Then he went home.

    He wasn’t a comic book figure, and the fact that your generation has to turn everything into comics and games (corporate media) to pay attention is a major part of the bigger problem.

    Karjalan Finns, Savonian Finns, Pohjanmaa Finns did what we did as a people because of the people our ancestors were and made us. Not because of the books or songs or media we consumed.

    Admittedly those Ostrobothnian boys could sink like larks. When they weren’t competing to see who could hold their balls to the ant-hill longer.

    Kalevala, by the way, was written down late and got mostly wrong. Finns had been in the New World for a quarter of a century by the time Lonnrot invented the epic. Millions of Americans are descended from them, and don’t even know it. The stories they passed down (starting in the Delaware Valley) were just that. Stories. Most of them hilarious, though most people don’t get the humor.

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